Thoughts on Day Dating Game Openers
Last week I posted a long but funny video on dating daygame. Alex Wise from Loveawake proposed two simple day game openers: “good morning” and “how ya doin’?” The more I think about it the more I think these openers are simple genius.
1. They are easy to remember and easy to execute
2. They give the woman options. Both phrases can be answered in different ways: with a polite but perfunctory response, or with an honest answer that invites further discussion. It’s the difference between the answer you give the barista and the answer you give your buddy when you get your first round of beer. (BTW, my deault answer to a polite “how are you doing” is “I’m doing great.” It seems to rub off on people.)
A big part of dating game and PUA advice is to not box a woman in – don’t pepper her with invasive questions, don’t monopolize her time, don’t lean into her space. Understandably, these behaviors produce major anxieties in women. With these openers, you’re not invading her personal mental space by demanding an actual answer. You’re not asking where she’s going, what she’s reading, where she got that handbag (don’t knock it, gay game is an advancing strategy). You’re giving her the option of engaging you, a swell and friendly guy, in conversation – no pressure, no commitment.
Which brings me to my next point…
3. They get very quickly to the point. You’ll know within five seconds whether this woman wants to give you a chance, or would like to go on with her day unblessed by your presence.
If it’s the former, you escalate the discussion. If it’s the latter, you know quickly. You barely even have time to get invested in the situation, so it doesn’t even feel like a rejection. You can walk away saying “have a nice day,” and maybe you get a preselection point if other women see you chatting up a pretty girl if only for three sentences, and you don’t spend the day worrying to yourself if you should have talked to that woman on the sidewalk.
Remember the purpose of an opener – to open conversation. It’s not to demonstrate high value, disqualify, neg or anything else. Some openers do those things, but in a day game environment you may not have for an opener with more than one clause. People are busy and the windows are tight.
If you go to a bar or a club or some other night spot, you get all this fake conversation, because people have it in their heads that they are “supposed” to be socializing. This is where you can deploy complex conversational dating game, but at the same time you’ll be deploying it because you know the stakes are high and so are the expectations.
In day dating game, you don’t have any of that expectation pressure. You also get honest feedback faster. If someone doesn’t want to talk to you, they can just go back to their book or put their ear buds back in, change aisles in the store or whatever. The price is that you have much less time, but this can be turned to your advantage, and should be by shy people because you get in and out of the set quicker.
Women want to be approached – by attractive guys. Thing is, until you approach you don’t know if you’re attractive to her. Witness all the Internet stories of women saying “I really wanted this cute guy to talk to me but he never did.” Don’t be that guy!
Paging Jesus Mahoney.